Career Services Orientation
They picked the worst possible day for this. I have a huge memo due tomorrow, I have to vote, I have to do laundry, I'm behind on reading, and the last thing I want is to be held hostage by a bunch of people who want to tell me that I can't afford to get the necessary experience so I'll never get a real job. Rather than suffer alone, I hopped onto the IM for consolation from my classmates. A running diary naturally ensued...
3:15
Must register at the door. Handbook, agreement forms, scrubs issued, number assigned.
3:17
This lady is ridiculously boring. I’m not even paying attention. Actually, I’m deciding that I want to write a running diary of this session instead.
3:20
Ooh, now someone else is talking. This is exciting.
3:25
Apparently I have to get legal experience during my summer employment. Good to know. There aren’t that many paid 1L jobs available.
3:26
Esther: shoot me
Me: I would but the security detail confiscated my firearms at the door.
3:29
She notes that we should not let the job search detract from academic work. Good lord, would the sweet sledgehammer of irony please fall on my head and kill me now.
3:33
Large firms. I have a 1/500 to 3/500 chance of working in a large firm this summer, I’m told. I wonder what those odds are for smaller firms (anticipates next slide).
3:35
Small firms add on “as-needed basis.” So basically I won’t get a job at a firm. Which is good to know, since I didn’t intend on working at a firm anyways. Ok, I didn’t intend on working anywhere. I have no idea what I’m doing this summer. Maybe the Red Sox are hiring.
3:36
Changing of the guard. Now we’re talking about Government and Non-profit jobs. As interesting as this all is to you reading about it, just imagine how great it is for me listening to it.
3:38
“I’m on the admissions committee and I’ve read many of your essays, so I know that all of you have a deep desire to use your careers to help the greater good.” She just inadvertantly called each and every one of us on the BS we put in our admissions essays. Hilarious.
3:40
If I have to use the bathroom, will one of the guards that they've posted at the exits shoot me down? Wondering if I should give it a try.
3:42
The slide describes potential “Judicial Externships.” I don’t get it.
3:43
Ooh, here’s the fun part. Most of the non-profit and government positions don’t pay. Summer stipend from BC of $3500 for the work. Hmm. My budget it approximately $1800 a month. So that’s… less than two months worth of pay to get me from May to September. So basically I can’t get an internship at a firm and I can’t afford to get one in government or public interest. And I can't get a real job without legal experience during the summer. Excellent. Thank you, Career Services.
3:49
I’m being told how to network. Thankfully, my parents have drilled this into me since high school. Not that I do it. But I know how. So I’ve got that going for me.
3:50
Make a chart/list of lawyers I know or people I know who know lawyers. Precisely what I want to do over Thanksgiving.
3:52
Career Services is here for me. To quote Bill Simmons (c’mon you knew it was going to happen), I will now light myself on fire.
3:53
Twenty-two minutes to go.
3:56
That’s a very nice suit she’s wearing. Black pinstripes from what I can tell. Also, she speaks in a monotone. Looks kind of rigid. I wonder… Fembot?
3:57
There will be a workshop for resumes. The will also be workshops for networking, interviewing, dressing oneself, and walking and chewing gum at the same time.
4:03
Thank god. Game over. Outta here. Don’t forget to vote Kerry, everyone.
4:14
Amusing note as I'm finishing this post. I look up and -- surprise -- Milton is asking the counselors a series of questions. I mouth "RUN" to them, but I don't think they understand. Hopefully they don't have anywhere they need to be in the next hour.
3:15
Must register at the door. Handbook, agreement forms, scrubs issued, number assigned.
3:17
This lady is ridiculously boring. I’m not even paying attention. Actually, I’m deciding that I want to write a running diary of this session instead.
3:20
Ooh, now someone else is talking. This is exciting.
3:25
Apparently I have to get legal experience during my summer employment. Good to know. There aren’t that many paid 1L jobs available.
3:26
Esther: shoot me
Me: I would but the security detail confiscated my firearms at the door.
3:29
She notes that we should not let the job search detract from academic work. Good lord, would the sweet sledgehammer of irony please fall on my head and kill me now.
3:33
Large firms. I have a 1/500 to 3/500 chance of working in a large firm this summer, I’m told. I wonder what those odds are for smaller firms (anticipates next slide).
3:35
Small firms add on “as-needed basis.” So basically I won’t get a job at a firm. Which is good to know, since I didn’t intend on working at a firm anyways. Ok, I didn’t intend on working anywhere. I have no idea what I’m doing this summer. Maybe the Red Sox are hiring.
3:36
Changing of the guard. Now we’re talking about Government and Non-profit jobs. As interesting as this all is to you reading about it, just imagine how great it is for me listening to it.
3:38
“I’m on the admissions committee and I’ve read many of your essays, so I know that all of you have a deep desire to use your careers to help the greater good.” She just inadvertantly called each and every one of us on the BS we put in our admissions essays. Hilarious.
3:40
If I have to use the bathroom, will one of the guards that they've posted at the exits shoot me down? Wondering if I should give it a try.
3:42
The slide describes potential “Judicial Externships.” I don’t get it.
3:43
Ooh, here’s the fun part. Most of the non-profit and government positions don’t pay. Summer stipend from BC of $3500 for the work. Hmm. My budget it approximately $1800 a month. So that’s… less than two months worth of pay to get me from May to September. So basically I can’t get an internship at a firm and I can’t afford to get one in government or public interest. And I can't get a real job without legal experience during the summer. Excellent. Thank you, Career Services.
3:49
I’m being told how to network. Thankfully, my parents have drilled this into me since high school. Not that I do it. But I know how. So I’ve got that going for me.
3:50
Make a chart/list of lawyers I know or people I know who know lawyers. Precisely what I want to do over Thanksgiving.
3:52
Career Services is here for me. To quote Bill Simmons (c’mon you knew it was going to happen), I will now light myself on fire.
3:53
Twenty-two minutes to go.
3:56
That’s a very nice suit she’s wearing. Black pinstripes from what I can tell. Also, she speaks in a monotone. Looks kind of rigid. I wonder… Fembot?
3:57
There will be a workshop for resumes. The will also be workshops for networking, interviewing, dressing oneself, and walking and chewing gum at the same time.
4:03
Thank god. Game over. Outta here. Don’t forget to vote Kerry, everyone.
4:14
Amusing note as I'm finishing this post. I look up and -- surprise -- Milton is asking the counselors a series of questions. I mouth "RUN" to them, but I don't think they understand. Hopefully they don't have anywhere they need to be in the next hour.
posted by mike at 4:15 PM
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