I'm writing to inform you that I will likely be unable to attend class tomorrow. After conducting a thorough analysis of the relative risks and benefits, I have determined that it would be negligent of me to drive to campus for only one class. As you're probably aware, the university has cancelled all morning classes, which means that for 75% of Section 1, Torts will be our only class. In addition, I have owned my rear wheel-drive 1991 Volvo 240 for approximately two weeks, after having totaled my old car in a snow-induced accident over winter break. There was also something about Gov. Romney telling all non-essential state employees in Suffolk County to stay off the roads that leads me to believe that driving to campus (over a series of snow-covered hills, no less) would be an unreasonably risky activity.
Please realize that I am not saying Torts class provides no benefit whatsoever. I have simply weighed the benefit of a single Torts class ($300 worth of knowledge minus approx. $100 paid per class) against the risk of an accident or other car trouble (est. 35%), multiplied by the potential costs of having to repair or replace another car ($3000... and that doesn't include the accompanying insurance rate increase), and have concluded that it makes more sense just to stay home. I hope that if you were in the same or similar circumstances, you would do the same.
Having said this, I realize that not all of my classmates may have been able to assess these risks as accurately as I have. Some of them may even be unreasonable on occasion. Because of this, in the interest of protecting the students for whom you seem to genuinely care, I respectfully ask that you cancel class for tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Mike Douglas
Yes, classmates. The email was actually sent at 11:30pm tonight, Sunday 1/23. Hopefully my argument for cancelling classes is more persuasive than my argument for why first cousins should satisfy a bystander's claim for negligent infliction of emotional distress. A little AMI humor, there.
